« There is a line of fine print in the declaration of independence that reads, "All men are created equal with one exception. Chuck Norris is equal to 350,000 men." Thomas Jefferson had no choice but to add this line when Chuck Norris single-handedly and accidentally won the American Revolution while doing light calisthenics. He then ripped out Jefferson's throat for not writing it earlier, and replaced all the signatures on the declaration with his own. »