« Chuck Norris was once pulled over by a cop for going through a 25 mph school zone doing 80 in his Ford Pinto. When the cop looked inside the car to give Norris a ticket, the incredible amount of badassness emanating from Chuck Norris instantly made him go insane, causing him to pull out his gun and shoot himself in the head. Norris laughed all the way home, and drove and extra 10 mph faster just for spite. »