« During a ten-year retreat to the jungles of Asia, Chuck Norris came across two panda bears unable to conceive a cub. Being the humanitarian that he is, Chuck stepped in as surrogate mother for the pandas. Exactly nine months later the cub was analy birthed, but not breathing. Chuck tore open and ate the placenta and delivered the roundhouse kick of life to the cub's chest, starting its heart. Unfortunately his appetite for baby took over and he devoured the cub whole. Norris then looked at the pandas and said, "It's simple Reganomics", and and walked home. »