« When Chuck Norris was 7 years old, he played T-ball in his town's little league. All of the other kids would make fun of little Chucky because of his beard. One day, in order to send a message, Chuck took aim and hit a line drive so hard, it hit an outfielder and obliterated the kid's face into dust particles. The child's lifeless decapitated body lay there with brain matter sprayed all about. To this day, Chuck Norris will pimp slap anybody who gives him any shit about it. »