« Chuck Norris was in line at the deli when Ellen Degeneres approached him from behind and asked if she could order before him because she was in a rush. Chuck Norris asked her what she wanted and she replied three pounds of turkey and two and a half pounds of ham. Before she knew what happend Chuck was gone. He came back two minutes later with a sandwich that only a man like Chuck Norris could eat. It had three pounds of turkey and two and a half pounds of ham in it. Chuck then delivered a fatal round house kick to Ellen's head and said no one cuts The Chuck. He then ate the sandwich over her corpse. »