« After reading the Letters to the Editor in his local newspaper, Chuck Norris became enraged at the fact that Richard Dean Anderson was considered sexier by women in the coveted 65+ demographic. To increase his sex appeal to older women, Chuck Norris tried to build a Missle Defense System out of a tube of chapstick, six rubber bands, a spork from KFC and a copy of "Sports" by Huey Lewis and the News. Although Chuck failed at building a the Missle Defense System, he did use this as the prototpy for the Total Body Gym Workout Machine. »